Back Again

Crikey blimey O'reilly it's been a long time since I wrote anything on here. I have a legitimate excuse, before anyone gets all antsy about it. I've had no internet for about a month, and have only just got it back. And also, is 'antsy' a word? The spellchecker didn't recognise it. But then again it didn't recognise 'spellchecker' either, so it looks like it's got all sorts of issues. One of my housemates moved out, and in so doing cancelled his Sky contract. We didn't find out about this until too late, by which time the horrible realisation that I was to be without the internet had already dawned. And so weeks went by until finally a man from Plusnet - the Yorkshire Broadband company with these adverts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqxH9iXUDf0, featuring a man, a Yorkshire terrier, cobble stones, and Heaven 17.

Anyway it turns out that Plusnet is actually owned by BT, and is just operated as a subsidiary company. So it turns out it's just a cynical attempt to lure innocent Yorkshire folk into choosing an ISP because it comes from where they do. In our defence, we only chose them because they were cheap (another cunning ploy to snare the attention of people from Yorkshire), and could set it up the quickest. But does that mean that each county has its own region-specific internet provider, or did BT commission a focus group, asking them to find out the area from which the people of Britain would be most happy downloading their porn? And they came up with Yorkshire? It makes you wonder. Some places would definitely get a better band than Heaven 17.

So, what've I been up to? Again, and still, I'm unemployed. I'm back signing on and looking for work, but not getting too down-hearted. This is mainly because I've made a plan, more of which later. In the mean time, I've done some things.

About a month ago I went to the anti-Coalition protests outside Sheffield City Hall, and took a couple of photos. I planned then to go to the main one in London a couple of days later, which ended up attracting hundreds of thousands of people, but unfortunately I got too drunk the night before and slept in. Fight the power! There was a good atmosphere at the Friday protest, where, as I arrived, about 200 people were standing behind metal barriers, chanting and booing as Lib Dem members made their way inside. A mixture of students, grey-haired lefties, and office workers on their way home. Occasionally, when someone who looked like they might be important was going in, the boos got louder and people busted out their first-choice chants. One man, an MP who's name I didn't catch, was the only one to come and walk amongst us. He started talking to a couple of middle aged people holding placards, and I overheard him say 'but you see we're trying to improve things from the inside'. I walked off and didn't hear any more, but I don't think his arguments quite washed. Later that day I saw him on the news, surrounded by protesters, angrily shouting and waving his arms around.

I voted for Nick Clegg in the last general election, and genuinely thought he was a decent bloke. When I was at university I went to see him debate some toss-bag MEP from UKIP called Humphrey. Cleggers did well, but he didn't have to work that hard to compare favourably with his old, oleaginous opponent. But since becoming Deputy Prime Minister my opinion of him has quickly and spectacularly nose-dived. There's a lot of reasons for this, and I won't go into them all. The main one at the moment is university tuition fees. It just strikes me as incredibly evil for a government packed with people educated at our country's best universities, for free, paid for by the tax payer, to then pull away the ladder for everyone else. It's taxing people twice for aiming high, and it's wrong. But there you go.

And so I'm going to do what's referred to in immigration circles as a 'reverse Phil Collins', and get the fuck out of here. I'll be doing it a year late and made no pre-election promise to do so, but I don't care. I'm doing a reverse Phil Collins. At the end of June when my house contract in Sheffield expires, I'll be moving back to Leek, where I'll live rent-free for a bit, saving money, before eventually moving to Australia. I've got a few mates there already, and the prospect of facing another English winter unemployed and alone is really really wank. So yeah, I'm going to do that. That's not the most fleshed-out plan ever, so I need to do some work on. But it's exciting, and something to really look forward to, which I haven't had in a while. There's just been a week's worth of glorious sunshine, mixed in with a thunder storm and gigantic, plant-shredding hail; it's been great. Around this time of the year England, the countryside round here in particular, is at it's most glorious and welcoming. I'll try and keep these up.

Oh, also, in a shop the other day I found and bought a pot of Cock Flavoured Seasoning. Here's a photo:

Wahey!